A test in need of a headline
PLUS: A busy Week That Was, including an economist's view of the stadium debate, Hamilton's defection, the PGA's newfound billions and a blow to HPSNZ.
How do you say you’re about to embark on one of the most depressing episodes in modern cricket history without actually saying you’re about to embark on one of the most depressing episodes in modern cricket history?
Perhaps you would couch it like this.
“I mean, definitely, there is less knowledge on some of their players. That is a challenge. A number of guys are reasonably familiar with the players but it is certainly a new-look team so like I said it is important we do our homework as we do with any opposition but also really focus on our cricket.”
That was Kane Williamson, putting words from the dictionary together in a coherent fashion, but failing to inject much sex appeal into a series against South Africa that has been rendered unwinnable for New Zealand.
I will not subject you to another Bounce flogging of a dead horse, but click on this link if you want a big-picture refresher on how we got to the point of playing this South African side.
New Zealand have never beaten the Proteas, or the Springboks as they were once known, in a test series.
If New Zealand can’t win the newly minted Tangiwai Shield against a squad without a test century to their name and just a smattering of wickets, they will be lampooned from here to the highveld because let’s not kid ourselves that this is a second-string SA side - it is not even that strong.
If New Zealand do win, it will forever come with a qualifying paragraph or two in future editions of Men in White.
The crazy thing is, despite the disparity in apparent quality, I can’t write this off as fait accompli.
The way the summer is structured, New Zealand come into this two-test series off the back of a diet of white-ball cricket. There is no longer anything unusual about that, but it provides a random element that can’t be discounted.
Lose the toss, get put into bat on a pitch with a healthy tinge of greenery and before you know it you can be 30 for 4 and fighting for survival. It’s New Zealand, that scenario is not far-fetched.
New Zealand have been caught cold at the first test of the summer at the Mount twice in succession (though not because they’ve been rolled on green-tops). Last year, they were Bazballed off the park by England and even if the margin between the two sides was inflated by pink-ball-under-lights nonsense, it was a humbling experience. The year before was worse, being blown out by eight wickets by a Bangladesh team that outplayed them in all departments, including seam bowling.
This is not a New Zealand side at its peak. It’s like a comfortable sweatshirt, fraying around the edges but still wearable for all but the biggest occasions.
There’s no Trent Boult, there are question marks around the form and fitness of Devon Conway, Kyle Jamieson and Tom Blundell. Neil Wagner hasn’t had a lot of cricket. Rachin Ravindra hasn’t played a lot of tests and the ones he did play weren’t great. In the absence of any spinner staking a claim, Gary Stead has returned to the Mitchell Santner safety-blanket option.
As was written in December after a crushing loss to Bangladesh in Sylhet: “At times over the past two years this side appears primed for a full-blown descent into mediocrity, but they are nothing if not resilient.”
That still holds. They’re vulnerable, which is why a series against a full-strength South Africa including the likes of Aiden Markram, Kagiso Rabada and Anrich Nortje would have been compelling. Instead we’ll have to make do with Williamson’s wishful thinking.
“So we are under no illusions that it is going to be a tough contest for sure,” he said. “They are all very good players and we just want to keep bringing the focus back to our cricket.”
Fair enough. Might hate the circumstances and bemoan to an extent the conspiracy of events and board politics that led us to this unsatisfying moment, but it is test cricket at a lovely venue, so I’ll be watching.
NZ v South Africa, 1st test, Mt Maunganui, from Sunday 11am, TVNZ+
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NB. The Bounce will be compiling frequent “Notes from the…” during the test summer, which will be familiar to long-term subscribers. The ones that fall outside the usual newsletters will be available for paying subscribers. If you’re on the free plan and want to hook into some test-cricket goodness for a couple of months, hit the button below and lend me a hand!
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As a mildly diverting if pointless aside, the BYC podcast was this charged with coming up with a current South Africa-born New Zealand XI. This team would give the touring side a run for their money.
Devon Conway
Will O’Donnell
Robbie O’Donnell (c)
Dean Foxcroft
Colin Munro
Brad Schmulian
Glenn Phillips (†)
Michael Rippon
Neil Wagner
Danru Ferns
Ray Toole
Chad Bowes
That’s not a bad side, with this selector particularly excited about Munro’s middle-finger-raised wildcard potential at No 5. There’s left-arm pace (Wagner and Toole), right-arm pace (Ferns), left-arm unorthodox (Rippon), part-time legspin (Schmulian) and slightly better than part-time offies (Foxcroft). Conway could even take the gloves for a while to give Phillips a bowl. The captain’s Cricinfo page says he was born in Auckland, but his NZC page says, Kimberley, so we’re going with that.
THE WEEK THAT WAS
An interesting piece in Business Desk from economist Cameron Bagrie regarding the Auckland stadium debate ($).
A few highlights:
Doing nothing is not an option: The request for expressions of interest (REOI) explicitly noted that the “harsh reality is Auckland neither needs nor can afford four stadiums”. Auckland council, or the various umbrella organisations that own the stadiums, should disclose their financials, including projected 10-to-30-year capital requirements. Let’s get full financial transparency on the “harsh reality”…
A “World Class Future-Proof Multi-Purpose Main Stadium”: Eden Park does not immediately spring to mind when you consider this definition. Even refitted (with a roof), it suffers two strategic failings: location (how many other cities have their main stadium in a suburb?) and transport connectivity…
One of the attributes that struck me about the Wynyard proposal was ASM Global’s involvement, a company that operates nearly 400 venues and runs 20,000 live events each year… Combine that with the ability to host a lot more concerts, water-based events and function as a centre for festivals such as Diwali and the waterfront option at Wynyard has major event-pulling power…
The City of Sails currently has an underdeveloped waterfront, which includes a used import car park, which has to go down as one of the most “interesting” investment decisions ever made on prime waterfront land.
Bagrie continued, warning of localism usurping regionalism, which is already visible with North Shore-based councillors trying to protect the white-elephant stadium in Albany. He noted that the desired “connectivity” desired between venue, hotels, bars, restaurants and public transport all screamed waterfront rather than suburbia. He warned against bogus economic impact studies.
He concludes with this simple question: Can Auckland afford not to build a stadium in the right location?
The answer is pretty simple for me, but my fears remain the same. The two standout proposals, Wynyard Point and Te Taongaroa at Quay Park, will rain blows down on each other and leave Eden Park as the path-of-least-resistance option, because you know there will be people making these decisions who will be seeking as frictionless a solution as possible, no matter how big a lost opportunity it will be for future generations.
Speaking of Eden Park, it released its latest financials, which on the surface look hale and hearty.
From the NZ Herald:
Auckland’s Eden Park has recorded its most successful net operating profit year in the stadium’s history just five years after there were concerns for the national stadium’s future.
In the 12 months to October 31 last year, Eden Park recorded a net operating profit of $8.263 million, a $4.618 million increase over the previous year.
As one source noted in correspondence to The Bounce, the healthy operating profit was actually offset by interest, impairments and depreciation, which is not noted in the story. Also, the commentary in the financials noted that the “outlook for FY2024 is less strong than FY2023 as the event calendar is not as exceptional as FY2023”. In other words, the Fifa World Cup landing on your shores is not an annual event.
I guess we have to start following the Houston Rockets now?
The Houston Rockets are acquiring Memphis Grizzlies center Steven Adams in a trade for guard Victor Oladipo and three second-round picks, sources told ESPN on Thursday...
Adams, 30, has been out since January of 2023 after right knee surgery, but he’s expected to be fully recovered for the 2024-2025 season and the Rockets are anxious to pair his physicality, rebounding and leadership as a backup to burgeoning star centre Alperen Sengun. Coach Ime Udoka has placed a significant premium on upgrading the rosters toughness and rebounding and Adams gives them a player who led the NBA in offensive rebounding in both 2021-2022 and 2022-2023. He had been averaging a career-high 11.5 rebounds when he was lost for the season with the left knee injury in January of 2023.
That’s not a shock switch, though, this is…
Lewis Hamilton has described his decision to leave Mercedes and join Ferrari in 2025 as one of the hardest of his life, after the British driver made the most striking move in the Formula One driver market this century.
The seven-time world champion has agreed a multi-year deal with Scuderia that means he will leave Mercedes at the end of this season. The 39 year old, who has driven for Mercedes since 2013 and this year will enter his 12th season with the team with whom he has won six world championships, said it had been a hard choice but one he believed was correct.
This morning I heard teenagers talking about this move… don’t tell me Drive to Survive did not work.
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Sticking with motorsport, we will be able to follow Shane van Gisbergen’s Nascar career, with ThreeNow securing the streaming rights for the Nascar Cup and Xfinity series. SvG is full time on the feeder Xfinity series, which starts this month, but also has seven Cup series races pencilled in with his Kaulig Racing team at Circuit of the Americas (March 25), Talladega Superspeedway (April 22 and October 7), Charlotte Motor Speedway (May 27), Chicago Street Race (July 8) were he is defending champion, Watkins Glen (September 16) and Las Vegas (October 21).
“It’ll be a few early Sunday and Monday mornings for the Kiwi fans but hopefully I can do my best to make it worth it,” van Gisbergen said in a release.
I need longer to consider the “real-world” implications of this story, but it sounds important and, more painfully, like a metaphorical knee to Steve Tew’s nuts.
New Zealand’s top rowers and cyclists have scored a key victory over High Performance Sport NZ in a landmark employment case [after the Employment Relations Authority] found that the government agency is obligated to engage in good-faith collective bargaining with [them].
HPSNZ director of high performance Tew was reported to be “surprised and concerned with this outcome”.
In the week LIV announced another high-profile defector in Tyrrell Hatton, the PGA Tour responded by signing up… John Henry.
The name might not be immediately recognisable but the soya bean billionaire is the owner of teams like Liverpool FC, the Boston Red Sox and Pittsburgh Penguins.
According to Yahoo! Sports AM:
The PGA Tour has secured up to a $3 billion investment from a consortium of American sports titans — a move that could signal its intention to back away from the unpopular merger with LIV Golf.
Strategic Sports Group, which includes the owners of the Mets (Steve Cohen), Red Sox (John Henry), Falcons (Arthur Blank) and Celtics (Wyc Grousbeck), among others, is behind the investment, which will begin at $1.5 billion and could eventually increase to as much as $3 billion.
The deal gives SSG a minority stake in the newly formed PGA Tour Enterprises, which will manage the commercial interests of the tour. Players who remain loyal to the PGA Tour have been promised an equity stake.
The Saudi Arabia Public Investment Fund is not involved — at least not yet. The SSG deal reportedly allows for the PIF (the money behind LIV) to become co-investors in the future...
This infusion of American cash at the very least gives the PGA Tour leverage in its negotiations with the Saudis, and could ultimately result in them backing out of the merger entirely. “I don’t think [the merger is] needed,” Jordan Spieth told reporters on Wednesday.
THAT WEEKEND THAT WILL BE
A very brief synopsis of things other than the cricket that I will be watching. Let’s start with… more cricket.
Hyderabad was bonkers. Can an understrength India fight back in Visakhapatnam?
India v England, 2nd test, Visakhapatnam, starts today 5pm, SS 2
Nope, sorry, have watched one episode of Six Nations: Full Contact and it didn’t do it for me. It wasn’t totally devoid of moments of insight but as a whole it was tedious and this faux-all-access style of documentary making already feels passé. I’d rather watch the real thing.
France v Ireland, Paris, tomorrow 9am, SS 1
Didn’t quite get there last weekend as promised due to an overhaul of the home wireless network, but I’m determined to catch the Phoenix tonight. Also, the Premier League is bubbling along nicely as a five-horse race, though everybody expects the one genuine Emirati-owned thoroughbred to bolt clear in the final furlong. Man City’s cause might be made easier on Monday morning as their two rivals square off in Norf London.
Brisbane v Wellington, Brisbane, tonight 9.45pm, SS 1
Arsenal v Liverpool, London, Monday 5.30am, SS EPL
My concern about the upcoming test is that the headline will be something along the lines of “Santner and Wagner hang on for draw against weak South African side”. As you said Dylan, the last two test rollouts at the Mount weren’t good performances, especially against Bangladesh where we looked like we’d win just by turning up…
I'm a Kiwi born and bred, but when it comes to cricket I have eyes only for bazball. McCallum and Stokes have given test cricket such a boost, it is impossible to ignore. Go England!