An overly emotional Week That Was
... and a stone-cold Easter Weekend That Will Be
No mucking around, straight into it. Have chocolate eggs and hot-cross buns to buy, obviously.
Actually, before moving onto matters of state…
In a week where attitudes to women’s sport were thrust into the spotlight after what has uniformly been described as a “damning” review (oh for the halcyon days of the mildly critical review) into the Black Ferns culture, it was nice of Northern Ireland women’s football coach Kenny Shiels to demonstrate just how far we have to go.
Women concede goals in bunches because they’re “more emotional than men”.
Just a few top-of-the-head examples of some totally impassive, emotionally closed-off sportsmen:
Nick Kyrgios; Diego Maradona; Mario Balotelli; John McEnroe; Dennis Rodman; Virat Kohli, Alex Higgins; Metta Sandiford-Artest (nee World Peace), Cristiano Ronaldo, John Daly.
Yeah, come on women of the sports world, be a bit less bloody emotional would ya.
THE SHORT WEEK THAT WAS
The Warriors (or the NRL, if you listen to CEO Cam George) did a terrible job of fronting the whole Marcelo Montoya “faggot” saga, letting it percolate for 48 hours before issuing a boilerplate statement. This despite it being heard clearly on the live broadcast.
It was one of those occasions where processes be damned - as an organisation that promotes inclusion and diversity you front it immediately and if that means you have to apologise to the NRL later for breaking protocol, so be it. I mean, what are they going to do: kick you out of the competition for trying to make amends with the LGBTQ community? Hiding behind the “ongoing investigation” statute was irrelevant as well. Montoya identified himself as the culprit and it was hardly going to affect any inquisition when, again, IT WAS HEARD ON A LIVE TV BROADCAST.
The player himself did a much better job of expressing contrition at his hearing.
“I am ready for what comes next. I can’t tell you why I used that word. I have full remorse,” he told the judiciary.
The 26 year old probably should have stopped there but added a few clumsy lines about not intending offence (a meaningless mitigation that should be expunged from all PR troubleshooting templates), not intending to bring Kyle Feldt’s sexuality into question (Feldt is married with a newborn if it matters to anybody at all), and not being a homophobe.
He did, however, end with an appropriate sign-off. “I did not think of the consequences. It is a word I will never use again.”
Tim Southee finally cracked the code, winning the Sir Richard Hadlee Medal at the New Zealand Cricket Awards.
It’s been a while coming. Southee debuted 14 years ago and was foolishly declared an allrounder after slogging a few over McLean Park’s short square boundaries in a lost cause against England.
It was the worst thing that could have happened to him as every assessment of his contribution for New Zealand - which is immense - comes with the caveat that he’s underachieved with the bat1.
That’s a shame because he’s one of the finest swing bowlers in modern cricket. Southee has taken 639 international wickets and only 25 bowlers in history have taken more than his 338 test wickets and only one has taken more than his 111 in T20Is.
Although ODIs are by some distance his weakest format, he’s stuck around long enough to secure 190 wickets, fifth on the New Zealand list although he’s unlikely to get many more opportunities to advance beyond that.
To my eyes at least, Southee’s career has gone through three distinct phases.
He came on the scene as a wide-eyed, almost naive kid from Northland who clearly had (inconsistent) talent but carried himself like he couldn’t quite believe he got to travel around the world for free.
He then moved on to the alpha phase, where he acted like your typical new ball bowler, taking the back seat of the bus, talking shit to batsmen and never quite hitting the high notes as often as he could.
He moved through those first two phases quite quickly before settling on what I think is peak Southee: still a big personality in the team, but also a genuine leader, a super-smart bowler, magnificent athlete in the field and, in a profession where injuries and back pain are written in the job description, nearly always available.
Long may that continue.
Having said that, Southee failed to pick up a gong at the inaugural 2nd-annual third BYC Awards (yes, Jason Hoyte lost count a few times). There was no shortage of pomp and ceremony at the black-tie gala. Who won the Golden Box and the Silver Sweatband? Who had the most epic fail of the year (what we now refer to as a ‘Marnus’)? Who won the D Cleaver Award for Most Promising Player Never to Have Played for the Black Caps Award?
You’ll have to listen to find out.
THE LONG WEEKEND THAT WILL BE
First, some reading for you. The ESPN story (which you can click through to from the tweet below) contains exhaustive reporting on a little known serial rapist who terrorised women on the Penn State University campus and eventually killed a man in Long Island, New York. What brings it into the world of sport is that he was a player for the Penn State Nittany Lions, a famous college football programme coached by Joe Paterno, the once legendary, now disgraced coach of the team from 1966 to 2011, when he was ousted in the wake of the Jerry Sandusky/ child abuse cover up scandal.
This is an imperfect feature. It’s too long and jumps around confusingly. It also loses its way towards the end to the point where the authors feel the need to remind the reader that the central premise for the story was that the monster, Todd Hodne, could have been stopped earlier by Paterno and Penn State if they had treated the lives of women with the same urgency as they treated the reputation of the university.
Still, it’s a powerful story and one I recommend you carve an hour out of your Easter weekend to read.
On to the more relaxing (unless you’re a Warriors fan) pastime of sofa surfing. There’s a Good Friday Super Rugby cracker on the Mainland as the nearly lock-less Crusaders try to repel the threat from the increasingly impressive Blues. Roger Tuivasa-Sheck returns to the bench for the Blues following shoulder surgery and while that will be a big talking point, this is one of the few SR Pacific games that doesn’t require overselling. This is big-picture stuff: the two best teams in the country fighting for temporary superiority.
Crusaders v Blues, Christchurch, tomorrow 7.05pm, Sky Sport 1
Can the Warriors continue to resurrect their fortunes in this afternoon cracker against the Sydney City Salary Cap Miracle Workers? No bottlies are open, so purchase your bitters on Satdee. The four-week loss of Marcelo Montoya (see above) is somewhat remedied by the return of Dallin Watene-Zelezniak. There’s another NRL match-up deserving of your eyeballs, too.
Storm v Sharks, Melbourne, Saturday 9.35pm
Roosters v Warriors, Sydney, Sunday 4pm, both Sky Sport 4
Football fans have enjoyed a feast of bombastic action over the past week, including the 2-2 top-of-the-table cracker between Manchester City and Liverpool, Chelsea’s heroic extra-time 4-5 aggregate loss to Real Madrid in the Bernabeu, and City’s nerve-shredding 0-0 draw across the other side of Madrid against Atletico. Three of the aforementioned teams are involved in the FA Cup semifinals. It’s a Lancashire derby and a London derby. Strap in.
Meanwhile, I’m a bit nervous about pointing this out because I’ve pumped up the Phoenix twice this season for an aggregate of 0-10, but they’re back home in Wellington for the first time in nearly a year and are still fifth in the table despite having the second-worst goal difference in the A-League. Get out there Phoenix fans.
City v Liverpool, Wembley, Sunday 2.30am, BEIN/ Sky Sport 7
Wellington v Central Coast, Wellington, Sunday 3.05pm, Sky Sport 2
Crystal Palace v Chelsea, Wembley, Monday 3.30am, BEIN/ Sky Sport 7
Steven Adams and the impressive Memphis Grizzlies start their NBA finals campaign on Sunday morning (7.30am) against the Minnesota Timberwolves, though as yet I haven’t been able to determine what channel, but I presume it will be ESPN. Other than that, there’s a bunch of random stuff I may or may not engage in, including the World Snooker Championships, which I always find soothing like a cup of BournVita; the Sevens World Series from Vancouver, which can be briefly diverting; and the IPL, which is the most inconvenient time zone possible. There’ll be a LPGA leaderboard follow of Lydia Ko, which might turn into something more time consuming if she remains in contention through to the final round. You’ll find them all fiddling around on your Sky Now app.
EASTER WEEKEND
The Bounce is going to have a short break. Catch up with you all next week. Take care out there on the roads.
His captains and coaches don’t help by continually batting him in positions that do not accurately reflect his technique or temperament. He could have been an excellent No11 or a more-than-adequate No10, but has instead spent the bulk of his career as a barely serviceable No9 and an awful No8.