Monday mash-up: The low-carb Razor era begins
Team naming was splashy, and a little too gassy.
As a live event, tonight’s All Blacks team naming was… quirky?
I mean, “squad for the Steinlager Ultra Low Carb Series” doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, does it. It doesn’t scream gravitas. It just sounds a bit gassy.
From there, Dame Patsy Reddy’s night didn’t really improve.
Asafo Aumua, by dint of the alphabet, was the first name out of the hat and it was mangled.
Jordie Barrett apparently plays for the Blues.
The hits kept on coming.
It was a relief to see Scott Robertson emerge, but in a blazer and reading from a lectern, he looked as comfortable as a polar bear roaming the Serengeti.
Robertson acknowledged in an interview with Sky’s Kimberlee Downs that he was much better talking off the cuff than on a stage and immediately proceeded to raise a laugh when he noted that Jason Ryan had fallen hard and fast for the bolter of all bolters, Pasilio Tosi, likening it to something “out of MAFS”.
Finally, the ice had been broken and we had moved into the Razor era. Low on carbs maybe, but hopefully high on protein.
Patrick McKendry has a nice fast-twitch wrap of proceedings on the One News wesbite.
My five talking points:
The leaders
Scott Barrett will captain the side, with two Hurricanes, Ardie Savea and his little bro Jordie, his lieutenants. Said Barrett: “When you think of the leaders who have gone before you, it’s quite humbling to be asked to captain the All Blacks, so it’s not something I took lightly.” Barrett, S, was not a huge surprise given his connection with Robertson and Savea was an obvious choice as vice-captain. Barrett, J, was probably a more surprising call, but as one of the few playmakers who looks like a lock to start his position whenever fit, it does make sense.
Absent friends
There was no room for David Havili and, perhaps more surprisingly, Hoskins Sotutu, who had a big season for the Blues. He appears to be usurped by exciting Chiefs prospect Wallace Sititi and one of Robertson’s more revealing quotes was to say he wanted loose forwards who were brilliant on both sides of the ball, indicating that the Blues No8 might be deficient defensively. Another Blue who might consider himself unlucky is Ricky Riccitelli who was playing like the most dominant hooker in the competition, even if the selectors don’t have him in their top four rakes.
Lock stocks
The number of players in each position doesn’t really interest me as you can always bring others in (and, indeed, Sam Darry has been named as cover), but the selection of just three locks - Barrett, Patrick Tuipulotu and Tupou Vaa’i - and the lack of genuine options outside those veterans, speaks to a relative paucity of talent in that position.
A fallback option
Do you have to be a converted first-five to play fullback for the All Blacks these days? Stephen Perofeta, Beauden Barrett and Damian McKenzie are all capable of playing 15 to a high level, but if you injected each with Pentothal they’d admit to preferring to play in the No 10 jersey. To be fair, Will Jordan is injured and unavailable.
One quick fact about our New Friends
(some stolen shamelessly from the NZR press release)
Billy Proctor: Older brother Matt was All Black #1177 when he made his only appearance in a win against Japan, while father Phil was a New Zealand junior representative and played tighthead prop for Wellington.
George Bell: The second hooker to make his way to the ABs out of John McGlashan College, following Andrew Hore, and possibly the first All Black to come from Waikouaiti’s Eastern club.
Cortez Ratima: Raised on a farm in Piopio, which is close enough to be called Meads country. Slightly different frame than Pinetree and Snow, however.
Wallace Sititi: Deputy head boy at De La Salle College (alma mater of John Kirwan, Sonny Fai and Isaia Toeava) and son of Manu Samoa’s Semo Sititi.
Pasilio Tosi: The bolter’s bolter, Tosi’s rugby journey has taken him from Horowhenua to Southland to Bay of Plenty to the Canes.
The Squad:
Hookers: Asafo Aumua, Codie Taylor, George Bell
Props: Ethan de Groot, Tyrel Lomax, Fletcher Newell, Pasilio Tosi, Ofa Tu’ungafasi, Tamaiti Williams
Locks: Scott Barrett (c), Tupou Vaa’i, Patrick Tuipulotu
Loose forwards: Ethan Blackadder, Samipeni Finau, Luke Jacobson, Dalton Papali’i, Ardie Savea (vc), Wallace Sititi
Halfbacks: Finlay Christie, TJ Perenara, Cortez Ratima
First five-eighths: Beauden Barrett, Damian McKenzie
Midfielders: Jordie Barrett (vc), Rieko Ioane, Anton Lienert-Brown, Billy Proctor
Outsides: Caleb Clarke, Emoni Narawa, Stephen Perofeta, Sevu Reece, Mark Tele’a
***
The Blues have the most representatives at nine, and that feels about right after they played 80 of the most effective wet-weather, finals-footy minutes you could expect to see in the weekend.
Given that I thought this was a coin-flip game and that the coin might land on the team that came so close in 2023, it was instructive just how one-sided the match was.
It must have been quite something to watch as a Blues fan, but without having a dog in the fight, the glaring discrepancy between the two teams was a little disappointing and that relentless, collision-based style of rugby is never going to move my needle beyond the ‘mildly interested’ setting.
A moment early in the match that has been largely overlooked pointed to the different mentalities each side brought to the contest.
With about five minutes gone, the Chiefs were awarded a ruck penalty near the halfway line and on the angle and opted for a shot at goal. As I look at my notes now, I have circled “weird decision”.
There is nothing wrong with advancing the scoreboard by multiples of three. We can get very sniffy about that in New Zealand, but the reality is that the bigger the game of rugby, the more valuable those increments are.
This was different, though. It was a relatively low-percentage shot in dry weather and Eden Park was anything but dry on Saturday night. The positive play was to stick the ball in the corner and look to maul. At the very least you’d be sucking up a lot of energy from the Blues as they looked to defend the drive. Instead the Chiefs seemed to have decided the final was going to be a low-scoring slog, or maybe they just didn’t trust their lineout with third-choice hooker Tyrone Thompson starting.
Either way, it seemed to be a call made with a negative mindset.
Predictably, Damian McKenzie’s kick fell well short and wide, the Blues cleared and it was probably the last time the Chiefs were on an even keel. The decision didn’t cost them the match as the Blues were miles better across the park, but it felt instructive.
More reading:
Freed from desire: How the Blues won Super Rugby Pacific, from Radio NZ.
Their 41-10 demolition of the Chiefs was simply a continuation of what they’ve been doing all season, sending bodies at the line again and again, until the opposition cracks.
It was everyone’s duty to be a part of the weekly onslaught. Mark Tele’a was repurposed from a traditional wing to a sledgehammer running off rucks. AJ Lam’s pace was channelled into painful running lines. Even Harry Plummer had no qualms about throwing himself into a mass of defenders, simply to get his nose on the ground and recycle the ball so someone else could have a hit up.
Speaking of the above Radio NZ headline, why does every team feel the need to adopt that lame song as their victory number? “Freed from Desire” has joined my playlist of infamy - songs that make me throw up a little in my mouth every time I hear them, not (necessarily) because they’re terrible, but because they are so overplayed at stadiums.
“Sweet Caroline” - The ultimate stadium cliche. Unless it’s the middle of the eighth inning at Fenway Park, get another song.
“I Gotta Feeling” - I gotta feeling, too, and I think it’s nausea.
“Slice of Heaven” - na-na-na, na-na-na, nah… nah… no… no more!
Yes, on this subject I’m a grumpy old man. Guilty as charged.
***
More more reading:
Vern Cotter’s Blues shift from ‘All Black DNA’ to become Super Rugby Pacific champions, from Stuff.
McMillan made a pointed observation about the style the Blues have adopted to become champions in Cotter’s first campaign.
“It will be interesting to see how the All Blacks go because it’s been something new to New Zealand,” McMillan said. “It’s probably going away from the DNA of All Black rugby. It will be interesting to see what the All Blacks coaches have seen from teams that have gone more direct like the Blues.
“We know the Africans and some of the other teams up north are more direct. The key will be understanding whether we’ve got the athletes to play that sort of style at the international level.”
***
Fear the whistler.
Some interesting stats to ponder ahead of the international season.
The average Super Rugby game in 2024 lasted 92 minutes and had 1.2 TMO interventions.
Over the weekend:
South Africa v Wales lasted 102 minutes and had 5 TMO interventions.
Japan v England lasted 102 minutes and had 3 TMO interventions.
Pt 3 of K3 Legal’s series, Shareholders’ Agreements: Your Business Toolkit, looks into the importance of having both a constitution and a shareholders’ agreement. Click the link to discover why a constitution alone isn’t enough.
What the hell happened to the Warriors on the Sinshine Coast? That 666 scoreline should be tattooed on the souls of every Warrior player and coach that contributed to that unholy mess. As far as omens for the rest of the season go, it’s not good. And no, I do not have anything sensible to add other than oblique and obvious references to a movie that scared the living poop out of a much younger version of myself.
As a medium-core Warriors follower, I have learned to take the rough with the even rougher over the years. Sometimes I can even find a bit of dark humour in the bad times, but I’m not embarrassed to say that the performance was so wretched and so absent of any redeeming qualities, that I did not stick it out until the end.
It’s hard to think of any excuses or mitigating factors. The Warriors were meant to be out for revenge after the shock Anzac Day defeat to the same team but there was no evidence of desire.
There would have been a physical hangover from last week’s gruelling battle against the Storm but that doesn’t suffice.
Instead, it looked like something was seriously wrong.
Few players emerged with credit, while many had their poorest matches in years… It seems a long way back from this for the Auckland club, with the Broncos to visit this Saturday.
Tricky one this.
There was something magical about Afghanistan rolling Australia at the World T20 - and something undeniably uncomfortable, too.
My BYC colleague Paul Ford has been banging this drum for some time, and Geoff Lemon yesterday picked up the sticks.
This is no longer just an underdog story. Sport means money. The Afghanistan Cricket Board board stands to get about US$17m a year from the International Cricket Council, and that buys plenty in Kabul. The Taliban have an accordingly strong interest, including dictating staff appointments. After the last cancellation an ACB statement called for “neutral and politics-free cricket across the globe … and urges the Australian government not to impose its policies on cricket boards”. The dishonesty would be funny if it wasn’t so obscene, with the Taliban banning women from playing on pain of death. And it would be naive to think that everyone in Afghan cricket is only complying under duress...
This is the thing about this Afghanistan team. They have created magic, in the short two decades rising from nothing to within touching distance of the top. They have done it step by step, time and again, and each iteration feels fresh in its wonder. In the most genuine way, the story is inspiring. And all the way, it carries its shadow. If Afghanistan’s men have been able to do this, and if International Cricket Council support helped make it happen, imagine what Afghanistan’s women might have been able to do with the same chance.
The Afghan situation is troubling isn't it? The silence of stars such as Rashid with 10m followers is deafening. As Afghanistan make their way in the cricketing world, this will become more of an issue I'd imagine.
There is now steam building for Afghanistan to be banned from the Olympics too, as travel for women is not allowed without a male guardian under the Taliban regime.
Still, I guess what we are and are not willing to ignore will become more of a cherry picking exercise as the Middle East takes over the sporting world, including international rugby. Qatar has multiple issues around slavery, women's rights, religious expression etc. But that Silverlake money is running awfully low...
As bad as the result was for the Warriors, there is a silver lining in that there is now nowhere to hide for selections.
Indeed, a result like this would on many occasions cause alarm - "where to from here?"
Warriors have the luxury of many other options (those of which won three games in a row).
Now is the time to turn back to youth, the 8 is still in reach...