Normal service resumes, sadly
PLUS: The Week That Was (feat. Serena Williams) and the Weekend That Will Be
It says something about the human condition that the build-up to tomorrow’s test in Christchurch seems so limp compared to Ellis Park.
Rewind a couple of weeks and the anticipation for a test that kicked off at an hour when no human was designed to be awake was febrile. Jeopardy hung heavily in the thin air of Johannesburg. Any hope of winning the Rugby Championship was on the line; hell, jobs were on the line.
The sports pages and bulletins revelled in the victory, the subterfuge and, finally, the clarity around the coaching situation. It was, by recent standards, a very good week for New Zealand Rugby.
And in its aftermath we have… indifference.
That apathy even extends to the All Blacks, who have hidden themselves out of the public eye in the Garden City - apparently ($).
You wouldn't know there was an All Black Test in Christchurch this weekend. It's a balmy Wednesday afternoon - hardly winter rugby weather. The sun is shining and the daffodils are in full bloom. People are out running in Hagley Park, walking their dogs at the beach.
But where are the All Blacks?
It seems to be a bit of a theme for the Herald’s man in Christchurch Hamish Clark, with two other recent columns headlined, “Why I have fallen out of love with the All Blacks” and “Why is Christchurch not a sellout for the All Blacks?” It’s possible he had already answered that question.
Whether the hard-to-find All Blacks are contributing to the malaise is highly debatable, but my original point is harder to dismiss - modern sport thrives off controversy.
It’s what keeps the world’s best leagues in business. The AFL, NFL, EPL, NRL, La Liga, IPL and more have learned to keep the fires of dissension burning 24/7.
For a while, amongst the coaching carousel chaos and the angst, international rugby was starting to look like that.
The All Blacks have tidied their nest, however, and achieved a measure of on- and off-field clarity.
So we’re back to talking about unchanged line-ups, and Will Jordan signing on with NZR (to the latter, nothing screams I’m cashing in my chips after the World Cup than signing a one-year deal through to the end of 2023).
You can tell it’s been six years since they’ve had a men’s test because we even have stories about the amount of potatoes required to feed the crowd.
We can surely drum up some faux-controversy about that. Are the potatoes really from Canterbury, or were they actually imported from Auckland?
THE WEEK THAT WAS
The PGA and LIV Golf continue to throw noodle-armed haymakers at each other.
Just hours after Tiger Woods and Rory McIlroy, the PGA Tour’s two most loyal servants, announced a technology focused golf league to launch in 2024, LIV’s lawyers subpoenaed them.
Following the launch of the league, as well as a number of huge changes announced by PGA Tour Commissioner, Jay Monahan, it has been reported that both Woods and McIlroy were served notice of a subpoena to reveal details of a recent meeting between PGA Tour players’ at last weeks’ BMW Championship, the second tournament of the FedEx Cup playoffs.
LIV’er in chief Greg Norman has also accused the PGA of copying their initiatives and while he’s probably got a point, few will shed any tears.
The battle between the Rebels and the Empire is much more entertaining than the golf - except there are no good guys to cheer for.
The Williams sisters never took American tennis out of the country clubs and into Compton, but they did carve out an incredible legacy. If anyone makes a Mt Rushmore of women’s tennis, Serena’s face is on there.
The smart money suggests she won’t get out of the first week of the US Open, her last, which starts on Tuesday, but it’s as good a time as any to remember her first victory in 1999.
Remarkably she beat prodigious talent Kim Clijsters, former Wimbledon champion Conchita Martinez, the great Monica Seles, defending champion Lindsay Davenport and world No1 Martina Hingis from the third round on.
From the excellent BBC retrospective:
Her father Richard had already stirred a minor drama, predicting that his daughters would meet in the final. “They’re too fast for the other girls,” he said. “They’re a little too strong for them.”
Hingis replied saying the Williams family had a “big mouth”.
Serena laughed it off.
“Obviously she’s number one, so she can say whatever she would like to say,” she said. Then she smiled widely. “I personally don’t think my mouth is big, if you’re just looking at it.”
If you took my suggestion and tuned in for Carlton-Collingwood you were served up a bonanza, with the Pies catching the Blues at the death and resigning them to another year in the playoff wilderness. Check out the call of the game’s dramatic, closing minutes. I know very little about Gerard Whateley and I’m guessing like most commentators he has his detractors, but this is masterful.
The AFL playoffs start Thursday with Brisbane meeting Richmond.
THE WEEKEND THAT WILL BE
It’s an international rugby bonanza on Saturday, starting with the Laurie O’Reilly Cup match from Adelaide. The Black Ferns won the first match in Christchurch in a canter and Wayne Smith has made a bunch of changes for the second. Smith is in an interesting position ahead of the World Cup, one he never faced in the men’s game, of integrating a whole bunch of sevens players whose availability has been limited during this World Cup cycle. No matter how nice you play, it simply wouldn’t be human for this not to cause some resentment (which could be a topic for another day). Anyway, that’s the first in a whole bunch of matches of varying interest.
Australia v Black Ferns, Adelaide, tomorrow 2.45pm, Sky Sport 1
Australia v South Africa, Adelaide, tomorrow 5.30pm, Sky Sport 2
All Blacks v Argentina, Christchurch, tomorrow 7.45pm, Sky Sport 1
About the only thing funnier than Manly-Warringah losing every game since seven players threw their toys out of their Moses baskets about some rainbow trimming is the results in the final few rounds of the season. I mostly understand why promotion-relegation is seen as a barrier to investment in the sport, but 48-4, 60-12, 42-6, 40-6, 72-6, 46-26 and 53-6 is what you get when you have a bunch of teams thinking about how they can top last year’s Mad Monday efforts. Here’s one of the few meaningful games this weekend.
Storm v Roosters, Melbourne, tonight 9.55pm, Sky Sport 4
Turn up on time to Old Trafford - check. Check pitch, looks a bit green - check. Win toss - check. Choose to bat - wait, what?
South Africa, looking to close out the series against England, were dismissed for 151. In reply England are 111-3 with the horrendously out-of-form and under-pressure Zak Crawley unbeaten on 17 from 77 balls.
England v South Africa, 2nd test Manchester, tonight-Sunday 10pm, Spark Sport
Spa-Francorchamps is easily the best track remaining on the F1 circuit, so of course the owners are considering taking it off the calendar. The drivers and teams return after their summer break and there’s been plenty of drama to keep another season of Drive to Survive going, with Sebastian Vettel retiring, Fernando Alonso moving to Aston Martin and Daniel Ricciardo ousted at McLaren.
Oh, and there’s this, too!
Belgian GP, Spa, Monday 1am, Spark Sport
I probably should be more enthusiastic about the darts, but I went a few years ago when it was at Waitakere and it was not good. Phil Taylor behaved like an arrogant bully to his young opponent Corey Cadby and the crowd lapped it up. I’d been really looking forward to the evening but left needing a shower. Anyhoo, Taylor’s gone and the tournament is in Hamilton, so nothing to worry about.
NZ Darts Masters, Hamilton, tomorrow and Sunday 7pm, Sky Sport 5.
