Notes from the Basin II
The sort of day when watching NZ feels like rubber-necking a crash on the motorway
Australia 383 & 13 for 2
NZ 179
New Zealand’s chances of securing a foothold in this series crumbled in two sessions of unimaginative and remarkably unintelligent cricket.
Yeah, the top-order collapse was acutely embarrassing, but the seeds of the ineptitude had been sown during Cam Green and Josh Hazlewood’s record 10th-wicket partnership.
Remember those wildly joyous scenes from the Gabba when Shamar Joseph ran in and castled Hazlewood to win a test for the West Indies? Well, the best of New Zealand bowled 62 deliveries to the No11 and just three of them would have hit the poles.
The nadir came with drinks taken and Scott Kuggeleijn introduced to the attack with Hazlewood on strike. Like a club bowler on Red Bull with a tailwind at his back, his second delivery nearly hit his own toe before ballooning to the long-stop boundary.
Tim Southee, his face only partially masked by the helmet he was wearing, could only shake his head at the horror of it all. It wouldn’t be the last time a New Zealander wearing a helmet would be left shaking their head.
Cam Green (174 not out) was fantastic. To minimise his role in the carnage would be churlish but New Zealand’s discombobulation and apparent leadership breakdown certainly helped. At one point play was held up while Kuggeleijn had Matt Henry his right ear and Kane Williamson in his left, while at the other end of the pitch 12th man Henry Nicholls was running a message to Southee as Tom Blundell was chipping in.
There’s an entire publishing industry propped up by books on effective leadership - there’s not a single paragraph that describes it looking like that.
***
Not sure what I’ve done in a past life to deserve this, but I was at the Gabba in ’04 when Jason Gillespie and Glenn McGrath put on 100 for the 10th wicket. The only things that made the Gabba worse were the fact it was two tailenders, and Gillespie turning his bat into a horse and riding it around the field upon reaching 50.
***
The batting was… a thin gruel?
Too kind, maybe?
Australia have a fantastic attack yet they didn’t have to go through the gears at all. You could point to one, maybe two wickets that were the result of clever bowling. The rest were gifted. For the purposes of this section, we’ll ignore the tail.
Tom Latham (5) played a late, watery forward defence. The fourth innings shapes as an important one for him before conversations need to start in earnest.
Williamson (0): see special section below.
At a pinch you could say Rachin Ravindra’s dismissal for 0 was part of a plan because the airy cover drive is going to get him in a lot of trouble, but even Hazlewood must have been surprised how quickly it materialised.
A smart piece of work by Pat Cummins accounted for Daryl Mitchell (11). He and Young had been defending and leaving but when Mitchell finally broke the shackles with a pulled four, Cummins sensed a freeing up of the mind and dangled width. Mitchell chased one he’d been leaving and nicked off. Well bowled.
You can say Young (9) fell to a strangle after doing the hard work, but there is another way to view it: a good puller, Young should have smashed the gentle ball on his hip to the backward square boundary with a minimum of fuss, instead he gifted Mitchell Marsh a freebie with a tame leg glance.
Tom Blundell (33) batted positively at least, but took a poor option against Nathan Lyon and got himself tangled up.
Glenn Phillips (71 off 70 balls) was a shining light but he did top edge a couple of hooks and pulls, which eventually led to his dismissal. You can’t discourage the shot though. You have to play horizontal-bat shots to have a chance against Australia - you just have to play them better.
***
Answering my own questions about THAT run out.
Was there even a run there?
Even with an unencumbered run to the popping crease this looked crazy tight. One for the third umpire at best.
So why did Williamson take it on?
Even the very best feel anxious about getting off the schneid.
And it wasn’t an unencumbered run to the popping crease, was it?
No Dylan, it very much wasn’t.
So what happened?
A mixture of bad luck and bad cricket.
Be more specific please?
Mitchell Starc, bowling over the wicket, pitches it full and straight. Williamson pushed it defensively but firmly in mid-off’s direction. Starc moves to his left across the wicket to try to gather. When it is obvious it has beaten his outstretched left hand, Williamson calls yes and sets off. Will Young, who had been ball-watching, but not outrageously as it was headed in his direction, responds. Here’s where it gets murky. As Starc has moved to the left, he’s moved into Young’s natural run path. Young opts to go for an inside line rather than outside line, which brings him directly into Williamson’s crosshairs as, for reasons known only to him, he has chosen to follow his shot up the off side of the wicket. It was likely an unsalvageable situation from that moment on, unless Marnus Labuschagne missed, but he didn’t. To compound matters, when Williamson tried to avoid Young, he then crashed into Starc, an annoyingly innocent party. That is the anatomy of a disaster.
Apportion blame please?
Williamson, in my book, has to take the lion’s share.
***
Almost immediately Lyon (4-43) found grip and turn. Tom Blundell’s bat-and-pad dismissal being case in point. Chalk this down to another inexplicable misread of conditions by Gary Stead and Southee.
The multifaceted folly of Tim picking his buddy Scott straight out of the ILT20 was already writ large before the latter’s eye-rolling second-ball swat down the throat of deep-midwicket.
Four right-arm medium-pacers… still shaking my head about that - and grimacing in anticipation of another “if you look at New Zealand’s track record at the Basin” type of quote from Stead to explain it away. Get your head out of the laptop and go and have a look at the wicket, please.
***
Reasons to be cheerful PtII: The skipper is back in the wickets, though he blotted his evening by spilling a sitter off nightwatchman Nathan Lyon from the final ball of the day. Still, how nice was it to see Steve Smith (0) and Labuschagne (2) depart early.
A bonus reason to be cheerful: Australia’s decision to bat again will almost certainly push the test into Sunday. Start those rain dances.
***
I know I should be more dismayed about the day, but in the back of my mind I remember totally writing off New Zealand at about this time of a test at this very ground last year.
THE WEEKEND THAT WILL BE
Hey, I’m at the cricket; TV watching is on hold.
The Super Round looks anything but, though tonight’s match carries mild interest.
Highlanders v Blues, Melbourne, tonight 8pm, Sky Sport 1
A Manchester derby that carries a bit of freight. City are trophy hunting, United are trying to impress new co-owner Sir Jim Ratcliffe.
Man City v Man United, Etihad Stadium, Monday 4.30am, Sky EPL
All I’ll say is I am disgusted that they picked Scott Kuggeleijn. For the obvious reason primarily, but also because Wagner could have been selected instead.
If it wasn’t so predictable it’d qualify as one of the most disappointing days cricket I’ve watched in a while.
Their bowling on an improving pitch put our under par effort yesterday into true perspective.
However, the real underlying reason is that Australia are a superior side to us and they know it. You can pick apart individual incidents from different angles but we weren’t clinical with our lines and lengths (Matt Henry aside) whereas they were bang on.
There’s always been talk about fire breathing Aussie pace attacks but the bit that goes under the radar is how accurate they are, and that includes the ability to hit perfect areas with the new ball (and underrated skill).
A lot of Kiwis understandably get their hopes up and desperately want us to beat big brother, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to happen.
An interesting side play has been the barely concealed contempt Brendon Julian has shown in the comm box for our local crew, and to be fair it is woeful.