NZ football has a problem with goal setting

This and more manic Monday thoughts.

A few thought bubbles from a busy weekend.

1. While it was easy to feel sad for the Football Ferns as their World Cup dream was shattered in Dunedin last night, it was not bad luck that got them there. It was, instead, a very New Zealand football story.

Goals, or lack thereof. Just one in three games, which included a goose egg against the Philippines, a team ranked 46th in the world.

Wrote Stuff’s Andrew Voerman:

“Their lack of creativity and goalscoring ability is the main reason why [they’re out]. It’s as far from a surprise as you can get.”

New Zealand sides, men and women, don’t score enough goals against teams with competent defensive structures and legendary Liverpool manager Bob Paisley’s quote frequently enters my thinking when watching them play:

“If you’re in the penalty area and aren’t quite sure what to do with the ball, stick it in the net and we’ll discuss your options afterwards.”

Flippancy aside, I do wonder what it is about the local football environment and youth coaching that seems to create a surfeit of industrious players but a paucity of inspiration. If you have any ideas, share them!

After a bright opening half hour, with the impressive Jacqui Hand (an exception to the rule mentioned above, perhaps?) hitting the bar, the Ferns didn’t look remotely capable of scoring. They could still be playing now and the score would be 0-0.

2. One of my guilty pleasures is gently mocking the player ratings that accompany each All Blacks test. One of my favourite targets is Stuff, which, with one or two exceptions, have raters who are so confused by rugby that they find it difficult to award whole-number marks. Can’t include Phillip Rollo in that club. His ratings for the Football Ferns were both readable and cutting. I was left wondering if he took their ousting from the World Cup personally!

 For example:

ST: Hannah Wilkinson

Will forever be remembered as the player who scored the winning goal in their historic victory over Norway in the opening game, but Wilkinson was totally anonymous up front against a defensively sound Switzerland team that went through the group stage without conceding a single goal. It was a surprise she was kept on for as long as she was. 3

LW: Olivia Chance

Replaced Indiah-Paige Riley in the starting lineup after a strong showing off the bench against the Philippines, but the move backfired. Chance is one of New Zealand's more technically astute players but she lacked the speed to get in behind on the wing, and gave away the ball too many times. Was hooked at halftime. 3

Not inaccurate, but ouch, it’s got to hurt to read that.

3. Most cringey press release of last week had to be this Fifa blatherskite about the tireless Gianni Infantino’s ‘work’ visit to Rarotonga.

“I am delighted to be in the beautiful Cook Islands, where you see everyone is crazy about football,” he said.

I’ve been to Rarotonga relatively recently. It’s a lovely place to relax and have a holiday.

Everyone is not crazy about football. 

5. One thing that wasn’t mentioned yesterday in assessing the All Blacks dominant victory was Scott Barrett’s “iconic” shushing of Wallaby replacement halfback, the always verbose Nic White. Barrett’s game spoke loudly enough without it, though it was a well-directed sledge.

He actually did it early after he cleaned White out at a breakdown. This is a really terrible screenshot of it, but take my word for it, Barrett puts his fingers to White’s lips as the Australian squeals “Refereeeeeee…” 

Normally The Bounce takes a dim view of such cheap byplay, but Barrett had the good sense to combine it with a performance of power and precision that will live long in the memory. 

Iconic? No. Mildly amusing? Yes.

6. The Silver Ferns are right now playing their first game of round two action against Wales at the World Cup in Cape Town. That they’re doing so without one of the most dominating shooters in the world game, Grace Nweke, is gutting.

That she tore her patella tendon in such an innocuous manner in a game of little consequence - New Zealand beat Singapore 80-19 - just adds to the sense of injustice.

“She provides a unique skill set for our team and will be massively missed,” said coach Noeline Taurua.

Too right.

7. The Mumbai Indians New York (yes, that is a real team name) won the inaugural Major League Cricket tournament. They did so by beating the Seattle Orcas by seven wickets in the final, thanks mostly to West Indian Nicholas Pooran’s astonishing 137 not out off 55 balls.

So far, so what. Well, the outstanding figure in MLC’s inaugural season was Trent Boult, who took twice as many wickets (22) as the next best and finished the tournament with returns of 3-34, 4-24, 4-20 and 4-31. As a late-order slogger he was not dismissed and hit three sixes, so the venture was a personal triumph for the sometime Black Cap.

The person who won the player of the tournament is listed above. It is not Boult. Oh well, you might say, Boult’s hardly going to lose sleep over a personal accolade. According to those who know him best, Boult is exactly the person who’s going to lose sleep over a personal accolade - and looking at the disparity in those numbers, it’s hard to blame him. There is not a single metric Australian Cam Gannon leads him in.

8. Big night at The Oval overnight. Has Stuart Broad, who announced he is playing his last game of cricket, got one last magical spell left in him? It sure didn’t look like it last night.

Broad’s career has been incredible. He sits alongside Shane Warne in the super-exclusive 3000-run 600-wicket club; a club it’s hard to imagine anybody else ever joining unless Ravi Ashwin (489 wickets) plays until he’s 40.

Yet for all that, he’s never appealed as a particularly consistent cricketer. He’s a burst bowler, but when he’s on, he’s really on.

9. Is Supercars on the point of imploding?

The weekend’s action from Sydney Motorsport Park provided more evidence that tempers are fraying up and down pitlane.

Cam Waters let out an almighty spray when he was penalised for a pit-lane infraction, with his engineer joining him, calling it a “joke of a category” and saying it was no wonder all the best drivers wanted to “f***ing leave”.

Shane van Gisbergen also was penalised for some roughhouse overtaking in the first race (before winning the second), and indicated he was inclined to agree with Waters’ assessment. He and series points leader Brodie Kostecki are heading Stateside this month to race Nascar at the Indianapolis road course. Is it expected that SVG will announce a full-time move to the US if a seat in a competitive team opens up.

It has been a difficult year for Supercars, the first without the Holden marque. The Gen3 cars have faced performance and parity criticisms. Now the drivers are revolting.

10. This Wally Lewis CTE story is incredibly sad.

“My father used to tell me I put my head in the wrong place when I tackled. I would come off and say, ‘Are you happy with that game dad… I scored three tries and we’ve just won the Origin?’ He would say. ‘Yeah but you missed five tackles and put your head in the wrong place and tried to tackle with the left shoulder when it should have been your right and you got knocked out.’”