Once more unto the breach
England loom in the World T20, umpires ❤ NZ, more head-scratching comments, and a fascinating Book Club entry that's not even a book!
It is 850 days since New Zealand and England last played at an ICC tournament. I can tell you how that one ended up if you like.
It was a tie.
That’s all you need to know about the game. As for the aftermath, it was summed up in a timeless tweet.
Shuffling on two-and-a-bit years later and it’s difficult to muster the same sort of anticipation. Different format, different venue, a different way of looking at the world, perhaps, given everything we’ve lived through since.
New Zealand will enter the match like they did in 2019 as slight underdogs against an England team that is as dynamic when facing a white ball as they are troubled when facing red, but it feels less urgent, less angsty than it might normally.
Whatever the outcome, it’s hard to see any players looking for careers as a pastry chef in the near future.
Maybe as a saucier though, after Australian umpire Bruce Oxenford revealed what he believes is the “secret sauce” behind New Zealand’s recent success.
It’s a really nice interview, that comes from News Corp via NZ Herald.
The best line:
“They are amazing. They could be world champions in all three formats had it not been for an incorrect call on an overthrow in the 50-over World Cup. And that day they just got on with it. New Zealand just don’t waste energy on things they cannot control. It is such a vital thing for all sports people. If you start concerning yourself with things that go wrong you can forget about the things that need to go right.”
Oxenford paid tribute to the Black Caps for making umpires feel like equals, not enemies, on the field.
On The BYC we discuss the England semifinal, of course, while T-Bone Blain tackles racism in his adopted home of Yorkshire and Paul Ford avoided the question: Is Wellington’s current Plunket Shield bating lineup the worst in New Zealand first-class history?
I don’t know what you’ve got planned for 3am this morning, but if you’re at a very loose end, join the Alternative Commentary Collective, myself included, for World Cup Morning Glory!
Join the team on Facebook, YouTube & iHeart Radio for watchalong coverage as New Zealand goes for Glory – Morning Glory!
THE KEY BATTLE
If England bat first, or if New Zealand bat first and set par score or better, it is hard to look past Trent Boult and Tim Southee v Jos Buttler and Jonny Bairstow. New Zealand were handed a bit of a bonus with the injury to Jason Roy, one of the punchiest batsmen in world cricket, but Bairstow will presumably open and is capable of dominating too.
England like to biff at the top of the order from both ends, so there will be no respite. If Buttler and Bairstow get away, it’s game over, however Boult and Southee have both been excellent with the new ball.
Mitchell Santner could be used as a wildcard option in the powerplay, but the Abu Dhabi surface wasn’t kind to him last time out.
The Daily Mail ran through five key things England must do to win, while also reminding me that in white-ball cricket, they really have become New Zealand’s nemesis.
A QUICK HEADS UP
Former Wales great Jamie Roberts, a qualified doctor, has joined those sceptical about the link between rugby and brain disease, saying: “There are so many other possible factors: dietary factors, genetic factors, depression, lifestyle.”
There’s a level of disingenuousness here that needs to be called out.
Yes, there are absolutely a bunch of factors that contribute to diseases that come under the umbrella term dementia, including lifestyle and genetics. Yes, there is so much to learn as to why some players who suffer repetitive head injuries will be affected by CTE and others won’t.
But if you look at the Boston University brain bank for example, they have had more than 100 specimens that have tested positive for CTE. The brains were once housed in bodies that come from a variety of socio-economic backgrounds. They once belonged to bodies that both abused alcohol and were teetotallers. They belonged to bodies whose families had multiple instances of dementia, and to those with none at all.
In fact, they have only one thing in common: repetitive head injuries from sport.
When you go out of your way to make that link seem opaque, you’re getting in the way of progress.
To give Robert Kitson, the author, his due, the sign-off line had a bit of sass.
“‘Until the first cohort of professional players donate their brains, there is no way of drawing a direct link. There needs to be more research funding to allow us to better understand it,’ Roberts said. ‘I am definitely not in denial but we need to work far harder to prove it is rugby that causes this.’ At least one thing is already clear. If Roberts ever wants an influential role in rugby administration, it surely awaits him.”
Touché.
SMITH TO THE RESCUE
A penny for TJ Perenara and Finlay Christie’s thoughts as Aaron Smith is asked to don his cape and fly north to join the All Blacks for the final two tests of this neverending year.
Even accounting for the fact that Brad Weber has been ruled out due to the head injury he suffered early against Italy, there’s a hint of desperation about sending for Smith when there was such a perfect opportunity for him to recharge his test batteries ahead of a big two years. Throw in the fact his wife Teagan has recently given birth to his second child, Leo, and that Smith will be jet-lagged up the wazoo for this weekend’s Ireland test and it’s debatable just how much long-term strategic value there is in this call.
Granted, they need some cover, but this could have been an opportunity to “broaden the base”... unless they are slightly spooked by the form (Perenara) and inexperience (Christie) of those already on the ground.
RARE BIRDS
It’s behind the paywall, so know that before clicking on the link, but the Herald’s Michael Burgess reminded me of something I’d given little thought about until today: the Kiwis have disappeared.
With the team on ice since 2019, Burgess argues that we’re missing out on watching a Golden Generation, and writes of a make-believe transtasman forwards battle:
“There is a lot of hype (and occasionally tripe) around State of Origin but it’s hard to see anything that the combination of Queensland and New South Wales could muster that would top New Zealand’s current heavy artillery.”
Them’s fightin’ words.
MIDWEEK BOOK CLUB
What is it? Bad Sport: Fallen Idol
Where is it? Netflix
Directed by: James House
Genre: True crime docuseries
Reviewer: Dylan Cleaver
If Fallen Idol is your induction into the tragic story of former cricket captain Hansie Cronje or, indeed, into the shadowy world of match fixing and illegal bookmaking, this will be a useful reference point.
If, however, you are broadly familiar with the story, this documentary, one of six in the “Bad Sport” series, will leave you feeling a little underwhelmed. Despite incredible access to a range of sources - too many, I believe, as some take up space while saying nothing of value - the final product feels thin.
This might be by design because a) the protagonist is dead and b) the narrative of South Africa, the country and its cricket, is so complex and dense that it would require a feature-length film to cover it off without throwing the spectre of match-fixing into the mix.
That may be so but it is still disappointing to see Cronje reduced to a Biblical parable: the boy with the big dreams who succumbed to one of the seven deadly sins.
There were several points of intrigue that were under-developed and reduced to throwaway lines.
We’re told that Cronje grew up in the heart of Afrikanerdom, Bloemfontein, in a liberal household that believed in a democratic, unified South Africa. I would have loved to know if he was vocal about his liberal beliefs in such a conservative changing room - we’ve learned over the past year at government hearings just how racially intolerant large chunks of South African cricket was until very recently - or whether this “liberalism” has been retro-fitted to burnish a damaged legacy.
The producers get access to the bookmaker, Marlon Aronstam, who evidently triggered Cronje’s downfall and yet by the end of the show I felt I knew less about him and the dark arts of “setting” prices than I did at the start. His testimony was vague and at times confusing, though it was beautifully shot. What was his background, his connections; how did his relationship with Cronje (that apparently started with a late-night call to South Africa Cricket that was not only answered yet also yielded Cronje’s private number) and cricket evolve? There were areas Aronstam was clearly unwilling to enter, but some explainers were required.
Paddy Upton, long-time fitness coach for the team, said that he bought Cronje so many beers but rarely got any coming the other way. This was revealing, yet undeveloped. His tight-fistedness and greed were clearly linked, yet where did it come from? His brother, Frans, is interviewed at length and could perhaps have provided an answer.
Cronje died in a plane crash just a couple of years after his life ban. Even the fact there were rumours it might not have been accidental are ignored or brushed over.
Strangest of all was the fact that Cronje went from pariah to reformed in a ludicrously short space of time. From the outside Cronje did not look like a good person - Professor Tim Noakes, a sports scientist who worked with the team for many years described him as having antisocial personality disorder and said “his ability to lie was remarkable and he was, I think, genuinely without conscience” - yet South Africans were prepared to brush over his sins.
In a strange way, so does Fallen Idol, with one of the final lines given to Herschelle Gibbs, the young coloured player Cronje led into deception, nearly ruining a brilliant career.
“I mean, fuck it... he didn’t kill anyone,” Gibbs says.
It was almost like the producers were reaching for Luke 23:34.
“And Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do’.”
