SUNDAY SPECIAL: The ABs are not very good
That’s the whole story right there in the headline, PLUS: Rating the ratings.
When covering a sport as complicated as rugby, which requires an intoxicating mix of technical, physical and strategic mastery to be the best, there is a tendency to make the unexplainable easy to digest.
So we lean on phrases that are both meaningless and universal. We talk about momentum shifts and of corners being turned. We make notes about selection continuity and coaching styles and philosophies. We put emphasis on playing narrow, with width or depth depending on the occasion or opposition. The gain line, never forget the gain line.
We speak of playmakers, twin playmakers and difference makers.
The basics. We love the basics. You can put “the basics” behind any number of sets of words to give your report real heft: “Execution of…”; “Lacking in…”; “Commitment to…”; “Failure of…”; “Need to tidy up…”.
Scoreboard pressure is relatively new to the lexicon but is already a firm favourite, as is outside noise. A lot of time has been given to outside noise recently, specifically the blocking out of it, which leaves a rugby twist on the age old riddle: If a tree falls outside the All Blacks camp, does it actually make a sound?
Rugby is so damned hard to play well, so of course we try to simplify it and in keeping with that spirit, the analysis of last night’s test will be cut back to the bone.
The All Blacks are not very good.