The all-nighter that wasn't
Attempt to watch Indy500 stirs painful head lice memories (and other stuff)
You’re reading the tired and rambling words of a quinquagenarian who tried but failed badly in the early hours of this morning to pull a sporting all-nighter.
There are still serious question marks around the attempted enterprise.
Mostly: What exactly was the point?
It was a decent smorgasbord of sport but nothing that could not have been caught via replay or highlights packages.
There was the opening day of the French Open, mostly notable for the crowd booing a Ukrainian player who refused to shake the hand of her Belarusian victor, but the time zone and surface have always combined to make it my least cherished of the four slams. There was the Monaco Grand Prix, the most visually spectacular stop on the circuit, but invariably a poor racing spectacle, though made slightly more interesting due to rain. There was also the last day of the English Premier League season, which can be one of the most nerve-shredding days on the sporting calendar, but due to prior results, one that was only truly meaningful for the three clubs trying to avoid joining Southampton in relegation.
Mostly, though, there was the IPL final, which was an interesting enough prospect, and the Indianapolis 500 featuring the Scotts, Dixon and McLaughlin.
Ironically, it was the two events most anticipated that put me to sleep.
For one, it never stopped raining in Ahmedabad, turning the IPL final between Devon Conway, Stephen Fleming and, peripherally, Mitchell Santner’s Chennai Super Kings and the Gujarat Titans into a damp squib. They will try again overnight.
For two, the sight of fast cars travelling anticlockwise around a 4km oval (it’s more a rectangle, but that is by the by) is like a hypnotist’s watch. The last thing I truly remember was Dixon dropping rapidly from fourth to 14th due to a vibrating left rear, then all of a sudden I was having deep dreams accessing repressed childhood memories. Did we really have to raise our hands on the classroom mat at Vogeltown primary if we’d recently had, or were currently being treated for, nits? I think we did, you know.
As you can quickly tell, the all-night plan hit the wall and I instead awoke with a sore neck, minor disorientation and no clue as to who had won what.
Luckily… Google. Dixon finished sixth, McLaughlin 14th in a race won by Josef Newgarden that had plenty of late drama.
I might have been late catching up with that, but I do know who didn’t win the awards for which they were up for on Saturday night.
That would be me.
Dana Johannsen won Sports Journalist of the Year (again) with a portfolio that carried this exclusive news break on a landmark employment case launched against High Performance Sport NZ, and this news analysis story on the pre-World Cup Black Ferns implosion.
As the pressure came on to evolve the programme, the capability gaps on and off the field became glaringly obvious. Key actions that had been agreed upon in the re-set meeting fell away as management either did not have the will or know-how to enact them.
There was no runner-up announced but with bias I’m awarding it to Madeleine Chapman, whose Finding Heath Davis was my favourite single story of 2022, so much so that I piggybacked off it.
I was happier with my entry for Best Opinion Writing, which included this and this, but in a category that crossed the whole gamut of life (not just sport), the Herald’s Vaimoana Mase took out this award.
Mostly though I was pretty damn proud to have The Bounce recognised at the national media awards. I’m a small team, though it would be remiss of me not to mention the legends at The Spinoff for their continued support.
Congrats to all the chicken-dinners.
Being at the awards meant I missed the Warriors painful loss to the Broncos in Napier, though I did catch up with most of it. They should have been at least two tries up before a breakaway gave the below-strength Brisbane Broncos impetus to not only win, but reinforce the Warriors truly horrendous record when playing anywhere in New Zealand bar Mt Smart Stadium.
Thankfully, my Warriors beat reporter Peter was on hand for the self-destruction. Here is his (lightly edited) take.
Heartbreaking was not too strong a term to describe the Warriors’ 22-26 loss to the Broncos on Saturday night, because it would have been a miraculous comeback.
In a game that I considered a must-win, the Warriors had an edgy, anxious look to them all night. They were feeling the pressure of being favourite, a role they have never enjoyed. Their four nearly-but-not-quite tries only served to ramp up the pressure and this Broncos B-Team was not rolling over.
The key was Adam Reynolds, who with his composure and experience kept his team right where they wanted to be, while his new boys were excellent replacements for the State of Origin quintet. This is the true mark of a team aspiring for a top finish.
Shaun Johnson on the other hand was unremarkable on attack and his kicking game was ordinary.
It was bizarre how the Warriors finally unlocked their mojo in the last 10 minutes and, but for a jersey pull, could have won. To wit, a forward pass for the Broncos second try, of course, went unnoticed.
The stats told another story - more go-forward for the Warriors - but it was the magic that was missing.
In the Big Picture, I want to see this team getting five percent better every game, but lately their progress chart looks decidedly up and down.
Coach Andrew Webster has seven days to arrest this slump before they host the newbie Redcliffe Dolphins, but I wonder if he’s just starting to recognise what his predecessors failed to solve?
Thanks Peter!
These last couple of rounds of Super Rugby feel like awkward attempts at small talk before an important performance review, ie the playoffs, but there were nevertheless some intriguing talking points.
Is 26-year-old Mark Telea, who scored four mostly brilliant tries in the Blues flattering 36-25 win over the Hurricanes, the ultimate late bloomer. I appreciate 26 is not old, but rugby tends to identify its talent very young and it really wasn’t until the end-of-year tour, where he was called up as a replacement for Leicester Fainga’anuku and immediately impressed as the All Blacks best wing, that we realised how good he was. It’s hard to imagine that he is not foremost in Ian Foster’s World Cup thoughts.
It is tempting to write off the Hurricanes as a team that consistently flatters to deceive when it comes to the big games, but it was pointed out to me that man-for-man they shouldn’t really be in the Blues’ ballpark and if it wasn’t for a horror night off the tee by Jordie Barrett, they could have got a lot closer.
The Crusaders won comfortably 42-18 against the Waratahs, but missed a bonus point and Scott Robertson didn’t appear too happy due to the injuries suffered by influential back David Havili and forward Cullen Grace. One thing he will be happy about was Sam Whitelock’s excellent 80-minute return from an Achilles injury.
The Chiefs roll on and with an impressively low-key 31-21 win over the Brumbies in the Canberra graveyard.
Folau Fakatava played hero as the Highlanders kept alive their playoff hopes, but the Reds didn’t really care about that after it was discovered that Connor Vest had fractured his neck in a collision with Shannon Frizell.
There were a number of rugby “issues” type stories that warrant some attention - including another (sigh) news story on Auckland schoolboy rugby and the curious juxtaposition of stories about Israel Folau and Ruby Tui - but they can wait until midweek.
Finally, that Fiji Drua v Moana Pasifika game, won 47-46 by Drua after Christian Leali’ifano heartbreakingly hooked a relatively handy conversion attempt with time up, was great fun but had all the defence of an NBA all-star match, with talked-up Crusaders recruit Levi Aumua perhaps the worst culprit.
Speaking of the NBA… those final few minutes of Game 6 between the Boston Celtics and the Miami Heat were bonkers. The Celtics forced a Game 7 tomorrow, but only after a Derrick White tip-in with 0.1s left after the visitors had blown a 10-point lead with 3m 30s left.
The Ringer was suitably wowed.
If it feels like that type of shot basically never happens - to win a game, staring down elimination - it’s because that type of shot basically never happens. Throw in a whole bunch of contextual factors - one minor example being the fact that teams are 0-150 in playoff series when they fall down 0-3 - and it’s unclear when we’ll see that level of magic happen again…
If the Celtics prevail - punching their ticket to a second straight NBA Finals and becoming the first team ever to win a playoff series down 0-3 - Saturday night’s Game 6 will go down in history. White’s buzzer-beater will be replayed for decades to come. It’s the remix of Larry Bird stealing Isiah Thomas’s inbound pass and then somehow finding Dennis Johnson for a reverse layup.
Leicester City, who won the Premier league seven seasons ago, perhaps the greatest upset in English football history, were relegated this morning along with Leeds and Southampton.
Of equal interest is of whose coming up to replace them, in particular Luton Town, who as recently as 2014 were playing non-league football after a sad slow decline from their ’80s heyday.
Much has been made of the fact that their home ground, Kenilworth Road, has an away-end stand that can only be accessed through some Victorian housing.
So tired are people of the constant references to their down-at-heel ground, it’s become a meme (or at least I think it’s a meme - I’m not totally au fait with the terminology).
Well I found it funny.
Tied for fifth in the Senior PGA Championship, it’s another big week for the little engine that could, Steven Alker, pocketing US$116,000 for his efforts. Daniel Hillier had the same result on the DP World Tour, while Ryan Fox finished in a tie for 21st at The Colonial. Showing the disparities in the tours, Fox received $82,323 for his troubles, while Hillier received a bank transfer of $71,557.
Nothing to sneeze at, obviously.
In emotional scenes, retiring cyclist Mark Cavendish won his final race in Italy, with a sprint finish on the Giro d’Italia’s final stage. The tour was won by Primoz Roglic.
THIS WEEK
There will be a midweek newsletter for paying subscribers covering some of the aforementioned issues. It will also include a review of Jeff Benedict’s biography of LeBron James. There could also be a guest contributor crashing the boards, before The Week That Was and the Weekend That Will Be.
Do you think F1 will ever move from Monaco? It seems every year it's the same gripes about it being a procession of a race and boring. Or is it to glamorous an event?