The newsletter with no news
A brief holiday missive.
With a trailer, a roofbox, a big tent, two chillybins, a nuclear family, a laptop and a head full of good intentions, I descended upon the beach yesterday.
Yeah… nah.
Cyclone Cody swerved out of the way at the 11th hour to avoid us and the sun is shining so I’ve made the call that sport can wait for a few days.
I write this mainly for the benefit of those who have signed up in the past few days. Thanks for joining The Bounce community! Honestly, it isn’t normally like this.
Now that I’m here, however, here’s a short-sentence review of the big stories of the last few sporting days - or those that I’ve paid some attention to at the very least.
The Australian Open
Novak Djokovic has been turfed out and the show rolls on. Going where Tennis Australia should have gone months ago, the French Open organisers have already indicated that no jab equals no play at this year’s tournament.
I know it’s a fraught topic but I found some of the defences offered for Djokovic in the media over the past week downright bizarre and utterly disingenuous. The guy tried to game the system and he got busted. That fact that Tennis Australia was just as perfidious in the whole affair is not a defence. As everybody has heard from their mum at some point in their lives, “two wrongs don’t make a right”.
It was very clever of Tennis Australia and its embattled leader Craig Tiley to wait until the tournament was well underway before commenting.
Mesanwhile, according to The Age (metered $) Serbian president Aleksandar Vučić has said Australian athletes at the world indoor athletics champs in Belgrade this year will not be mistreated.
As for who will win this year’s men’s draw in the absence of Djokovic, a bloke who knows a lot more about the sport than I reckons Italian Matteo Berrettini is worth a punt if you’re looking beyond the usual suspects, but only if the Melbourne Park courts play fast.
The Silver Ferns
Apparently they were much better against England in the Quad Series, which I didn’t see so cannot comment on with any authority.
I did turn up to a near neighbour’s place to watch the Australia game and was appalled at both the lack of coffee and the performance of the Ferns (mainly the lack of coffee though).
Without getting too technical, they sucked. What really stood out for me though wasn’t personnel or tactics, but just how defeated and hang-dog everyone looked. I know the TV producers can be very naughty and have the ability to editorialise when they choose to show the coaching bench, but I would put coach Noeline Taurua at the top of the list for poor body language on this occasion.
NFL playoffs
America rejoices. The NFL’s two most hated teams - the New England Patriots and Dallas Cowboys - are gone after the wildcard weekend, beaten by the Buffalo Bills and San Francisco 49ers respectively.
There is an undeniable sense of schadenfreude every time the Cowboys lose. Take the headline for this story, which simply reads: “The Cowboys are the world’s most valuable team. So why are they so bad at winning?”
Beware though, the ageless wonder Tom Brady and Tampa Bay live on.
The Ashes
It’s finished. What a wash. We’ve gone back to the bad old days when the only series worth watching are the ones in England because at least they’re competitive. The moment of the Ashes: St Patrick Cummins telling the guys to keep the corks in the champagne bottles so Usman Khawaja, a Muslim, could join the celebrations.
Or maybe it was this, which Khawaja probably wasn’t at.
Yes, the cricket wasn’t great. Let’s hope the women’s Ashes, which start soon, are more competitive.
The EPL
Chris Wood had a half/ three-quarter chance to mark his debut for Newcastle with a headed goal but it wasn’t to be. They instead drew at home to fellow battlers Watford.
Like many football fans I’ve talked to in recent days, I’m wrestling with a dilemma: I’d love to see Wood do well and score the goals that keep Newcastle, a big club with brilliant supporters, in the Premier League, while hoping their Saudi owners get relegated.
Coming up this week
I really can’t say, but best I don’t promise anything at this stage other than things will be back to normal next week.
Thanks again for the support.