Out of the mouth of Baz
Out of the mouth of Baz
No, not that Baz, but there is some cricket, as well as both oval-ball codes and, at last, the big round-ball one, PLUS: A reader poll!
I was tooling around in the world of podcasts this week, trying to catch up on some research, when I stumbled across this fascinating snippet.
It is out of the mouth of Barry Glendenning, a sports journalist famous enough in the UK and Ireland to have his own Wikipedia page, and whose schtick is droll humour delivered in an almost disinterested manner. The subject is the sacking of Manchester United manager Erik ten Hag, and the role of new minority owners Ineos in the shemozzle.
“You have to question Ineos as well, their sports group. I was looking yesterday and they bought a third of an all-conquering Mercedes formula one team and they’re now bang average. They became the owners of an all-conquering Sky cycling team that is now bang average. They’re the official performance partners of the worst All Blacks rugby team I’ve ever seen and they have three football teams — Nice, Lausanne and Manchester United — who are all mid-table at best in their respective decisions. I don’t know much about sailing but I do know their yacht just got battered in the final of the America’s Cup, but apparently they didn’t disgrace themselves.
“You could argue that [owner] Sir Jim Ratcliffe is something of a Jonah when it comes to investing in sport.”
Glendenning’s pithy analysis was immediately followed up by another panellist who claimed he was “bang on the money”.
It is food for thought at the very least and makes you wonder how closely NZR looked at the brand before signing, although you would suspect their sights were locked on the cheque that was presented to them. And really, it’s hard to ascertain what benefits the “performance” partnership provides beyond Ineos getting to splash their name across another high-profile sports brand and NZR getting to spend their money.
The Ineos website is suitably vague, unless it’s tackle bags and mouthguards you’re after.
“All NZR Teams in Black, All Blacks, Black Ferns, All Blacks Sevens, Black Ferns Sevens, Māori All Blacks, All Blacks XV and All Blacks Under-20 will be part of the Ineos Sport performance group and continue to evolve and innovate.
“We produce some of the key chemicals and compounds that are fundamental to rugby. We produce polyolefin and PVC that goes into training equipment such as tackle bags and post pads, and plastics that go into smart vests. Olefins and butanediol into rubber to make the kicking tees, plastics in rugby boots and the chemicals used to make polyester for clothing. We produce ABS in the earphones used by referees and thermoplastics that go into mouth guards. We produce composites used in stadium construction, polypropylene in stadium seats and titanium dioxide that creates the pigments for lines on the pitch.”
Which is great, obviously, and will undoubtedly give the All Blacks a chemicals and compounds edge as they face England, the first in a trilogy of tests that will provide a litmus test for Robertson’s freshman year.
On first listen (or read), Glendenning’s dismissal of this All Blacks side looks like tabloid hyperbole, but if they fail to beat any of England, Ireland or France, none of which appeal as simple assignments, then, yes, you would have to consider the idea that this is perhaps not the worst side, but a historically poor one nonetheless.
And yet, for reasons that are hard to put a tangible measure on, it doesn’t feel like this year has been a complete wash. Sure, Robertson and co have got some key decisions wrong — like the appointment of Leon McDonald to the panel and, if you’re being harsh, the backing of Damian McKenzie as their man until it became clear he was not in fact their man — but you get the sense they are heading somewhere more positive.
That’s the only reason I can offer as to why he is getting more public leeway than Ian Foster. His reign gave the appearance of an extension of the decline experienced in the final two years of Steve Hansen, whereas under Robertson at least we’re finding new ways of doing things not very well.
The alternative theory is perhaps people just don’t care that much anymore, which could either be taken as a sign of maturity or that rugby is being slowly pushed out of the centre of the room.
That’s a debate that could be hosted on an infinity loop, but for now the task is to beat England at Twicken… sorry, Allianz Stadium — and no matter when it happens or under whom, we should never stop caring about meeting and beating England at RFU HQ.
In team news, prop Ethan de Groot has fallen short of expected standards, precipitating his non-involvement at Allianz, which could have far-reaching consequences, says Jamie Wall.
However, there’s more to this selection change than meets the eye. The massive Tamaiti Williams comes in to replace de Groot and his work rate around the park lately can be described along the same lines. He scored his first test try last weekend against Japan, but really should’ve marked off that achievement in Sydney during the first Bledisloe Cup test. Had it not been for an errant bit of judgement by McKenzie, Williams would’ve cantered over after impressively hustling downfield and keeping up with a sweeping All Black counterattack.
So really, de Groot’s indiscretion may well end up being a bit more far reaching, given that both Williams and the previously unheralded Pasilio Tosi are making a serious case for a monster All Black front row going forward. Both men weigh almost 300kg between them, offer plenty away from the set piece and both have plenty of playing years ahead of them. Tosi’s ball-handling and offloading ability has been excellent, which is not much of a surprise considering he used to be a No8.
England v NZ, London, Sunday 4.10am, Sky
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A couple of interesting tidbits from the NZ Herald, one of which I’m keen to gather your thoughts on.
First, though:
Back in September, in what was a quite stunning financial flex, the Rugby Football Union sold naming rights to Twickenham in a 10-year deal to German insurance group Allianz worth $200m.
To put that into perspective, New Zealand Rugby sold a 5 percent equity stake in their entire business to US fund manager Silver Lake for $200m back in 2022 and called it the most valuable transaction the game had ever seen. That hardly seems remotely accurate now that England have taken the same cash investment for doing nothing more than sticking up a bit of signage and corporate branding.
The English deal, unlike New Zealand’s, doesn’t come with any interest payments and its validity is not contingent on meeting any specific growth targets.
Then there’s this:
…The All Blacks will return to London in November next year as part of a Grand Slam tour that will kick off against Ireland in Chicago.
I want you to draw your own thoughts on this before answering this simple poll question. Make sure you vote before reading my next paragraph.
No, not having it. I know The Bounce does not get to draw up the Rules for Life & Rugby, but no way on God’s green earth can it be called a Grand Slam if it’s not played on Ireland’s home ground. No, no, no. That’s an insult to those four sides who have won Slams before them.
I can already hear you ask, “Well how do you count 2008 then, when they beat Ireland at the home of GAA, Croke Park, not Lansdowne/ Aviva?”
It’s not the same. Croke Park is still in Dublin and it was still the home, at that point, of Irish rugby, just a temporary one. Last time I looked at a map, Chicago was 5887 kilometres from Dublin. It is demonstrably NOT in Ireland.
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You might have noticed I have, until now, studiously avoided any mention of pre-match rituals. I find the whole haka debate, on both sides, numbing and tedious, but if you do want an English perspective of it, here you go:
It has long struck me as absurd, this notion that opponents are supposed to be mute and reverential while 15 man mountains threaten to tear them to tiny pieces, sometimes adding the Kapa o Pango’s notorious throat-slitting gesture for good measure.
The Bounce is proud to have K3 Legal as a partner in 2024. Click on the link to find out more about their services.
One of the reasons I was listening to the aforementioned Guardian podcast was to try to catch up on some football intel, having been chastised for not showing enough love to Chris Wood.
It was not a snub. As I feel compelled to point out once or twice a year, it has everything to do with bandwidth and nothing to do with any personal animus or sporting snobbery. I am one person. I watch a lot of sports, but I can’t watch them all. I read about a lot of sports, but I can’t read everything.
Yes, I’m aware Wood is having a great season, but having barely watched a Premier League ball kicked in anger this campaign, I can’t offer anything beyond what you already know. Most of the mentions of him I’ve seen have been in the course of match reports, and there are thousands of other repositories for Premier League match reports.
But seek and you will find. As if by magic, a couple of interesting pieces dropped this week as news of his uncertain contract status at Nottingham Forest percolate.
This, from The Athletic ($), runs the numbers on Wood’s place in the Forest pantheon.
When Wood signed from Newcastle United, initially on loan in January 2023, it was greeted almost with a collective shrug of the shoulders around Nottingham. When it emerged there was a clause in the deal that would make the move permanent once he had made just three appearances — for a fee of £15 million, for a then 31-year-old — there were a lot of raised eyebrows beyond the East Midlands.
Very few would have predicted his goalscoring to reach the heights of Collymore, Roy, Stuart Pearce, Ian Woan and Steve Stone.
But there are a different set of numbers that underline why he is rapidly becoming one of Forest’s most important players — and one of the best-value signings they have made in recent years.
Wood’s seven goals represent 64 percent of the 11 goals Nuno Espirito Santo’s side have mustered this season — no player has provided a bigger percentage of their side’s goals. Haaland is next with 53 per cent (10 of Manchester City’s 19).
What makes it even more impressive is that Wood has achieved all of this from only 19 shots in his nine league appearances.
His conversion rate of 36.8 percent is the best in the division among players who made five or more shots. Haaland’s goals, in comparison, have come from 35 shots at a conversion rate of 28.6 per cent. Only Haaland (23) and Liverpool’s Mohamed Salah (16) have had more shots on target than Wood (13).
And this from the Guardian via WhoScored.
The 6ft 3in Wood is not a striker who will link up with teammates. He will not drop deep to knit the play and provide intricate passes to maintain dominance. Rather, he operates more as an old-fashioned No 9. But this is vital for a Forest side with a possession average of 40.1 percent; only Everton (37.5 percent) are averaging lower in the Premier League.
Forest need a physical presence in the final third to hold up play, ease pressure on the backline and provide an outlet in attack when they clear the ranks. It is no surprise, then, that only Milenkovic (26) has won more aerial duels for Forest than Wood (25). What this means is that Wood sees little of the ball. Strikers don’t see much possession even for the more dominant sides, and Wood has had only 199 touches in the Premier League, the fewest of any Forest player to register at least 300 minutes of game time.
When Forest get the ball forward they do so quickly, and crucially they have a frontman who is proving incredibly consistent in the opposition penalty area. Wood’s 25 touches in the opposition box ranks 61st in the top flight, and is fewer than the Leicester central midfielder Wilfred Ndidi (26) and Crystal Palace wing-back Daniel Muñoz (29), but it is where he comes alive.
There is some question as to whether he’ll be fit to add to his tallies this weekend, but if so…
Nottingham Forest v West Ham, City Ground, Sunday 4am, Sky EPL
It won’t be the game with the most attention in New Zealand this weekend though. That will be the inaugural New Zealand A-League derby.
Auckland FC coach Steve Corica said he’s anticipating a physical and fast game.
“I’m excited, I’ve looked forward to this game since the draw first came out,” said Corica. “It’s the first opportunity to play away from home as well, so we’re looking forward to it.
“Obviously it’s just another game, but it’s a derby game and it’s for the fans — they want those bragging rights and we want to continue our run.
“It’s just the occasion — it’s all about the fans, they love it. We want to put on the best performance we can for them and also give them bragging rights for the city and for the country.”
The Phoenix cheekily had a plane fly over Mount Smart Stadium on Sunday with a banner reading: “NZ is yellow — see you next week!”
Wellington v Auckland, Wellington, tomorrow 5pm, Sky
It seems that in the blink of a raised finger, Liam Lawson has become the most talked about New Zealander in the world.
Is he dealing with the newfound fame and notoriety well? The general rule of thumb seems to be that if you’re a New Zealander you think he can’t put a foot wrong; if you’re a fan or a driver of “Latin” persuasion he can’t put a foot right; and if you’re somewhere in between you think he’s a genuine talent but might just want to pump the metaphoric brakes a little.
It’s all cracking good fun though!
“I’m just focused on having the best possible race each time I get in the car. Honestly, that’s all I’m trying to do at the moment. Maybe I’m aggressive, but I’m here for one reason.
“Obviously my goal is not to go out and make enemies of anybody. I’m not trying to cause any issues or anything like that. At the same time, I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to win – that’s what I’m focused on doing.”
Brazilian GP, São Paulo, Monday 6am, Sky
The Pacific Champs have also slipped past me almost unnoticed as I attempted to catch up on everything I ignored while savouring the delights of Vietnam.
Thankfully Pete never misses a league beat:
“The Kiwis were always going to struggle with, a) seven premier players absent and, b) no warm-up game, unlike the Kangaroos.
“Under those circumstances, they did remarkably well and were a sinbin away from a much tighter result. Charnze Nicoll-Klokstad is no international standoff, whereas Jahrome Hughes would have made a huge difference as would Nelson Asofa-Solomona, Briton Nikora and Brandon ‘Cheese’ Smith.
“If we can improve against Tonga, we might give the Aussies a fright in the final.”
NZ v Tonga, Auckland, tomorrow 8.05pm, Sky
You might wonder why I have left my favourite format of my favourite sport until last.
Because we’ve only already gone and won the bloody series, that’s why!
Still wrapping my mind around the events in the New Zealand cricket cosmos. You can catch some of those fuddled thoughts here.
One of those thoughts was my confession that despite the unprecedented success of this touring side, I’m still hardwired to expect New Zealand to get their pants pulled down at Wankhede, where we turn to in an hour or so.
It’s the scene of Ajaz Patel’s 10-wicket glory, which has remained a brilliantly effective screen for the fact that New Zealand got monstered by 372 runs, having accumulated a paltry 229 runs across two innings. While the left-armer spinner will remember that match fondly, Tom Latham (10 and 6), Will Young (4 and 20), Daryl Mitchell (0-9, 8 and 60), Tom Blundell (8 and 0), Rachin Ravindra (0-20, 4, 3-56 and 18) and Tim Southee (0-43, 0, 0-31 and 0) won’t have the same warm fuzzies.
From the Patel interview (linked above):
“In a funny way, the glaring moment of that game for me was being out there on the morning of day one and kind of absorbing the fact that you’re out there in Mumbai,” he says. “The place where you’re born… you’re not living in India anymore, you’re playing for another country, which is your new home, but you’re back here against India. And all those things in combination were quite crazy to comprehend, and obviously, a lot of things have to line up to get that opportunity.
“It’s almost like I was destined to come there and play, but then the way that it unfolded was obviously quite special. At the end of day two I was just kind of sitting back and appreciating what I’d achieved and what had just happened, and also accepting the fact that there’s a lot of destiny about it, and there’s a lot of grace from high up above to be able to achieve something like that, because we all appreciate that cricket requires a little bit of luck as well, and to take 10, you need a lot of things to go your way. So that was pretty special.”
India v NZ, 3rd test, Mumbai, starts today 5pm, Sky
New Zealand beat Wales, Ireland, Scotland and England in the 1995 world cup, and nobody called that a Grand Slam.
Hard-wired to expect a pantsing - yep, it never leaves our shoulder. The pity of it is it takes away from the highs. Just cannot enjoy them for what they are, because there’s always that nagging thought that it’s letting our guard down.